the comments and the words that we speak forth from our mouth have an extraordinary impact on others. 
whether it is just a simple comment like 'you look good today!' or 'this top make you look fat, shouldn't wear this' can make or destroy one's day. indeed, there is power in our tongue, we ought to observe what we say about others. 
of course, there are times when we ourselves do not know what should be said and what should be kept within us, and that's when sensitivity comes in. 
some people are really open to comments, some are ignorant and the rest super sensitive. so before we make a comment, we gotta think twice. you'll never know! just with the words you said, you can kill a relationship. is it worthwhile? 
comments are suppose to be constructive and not destructive. got a comment? attempt to make it sound nicer even when it's about something negative. be sensitive. 
i'm unsure whether i have the authority to make such comments, but i realized how important this is. 
and i hope that i will learn, learn to make comments useful and be tactful when giving comments. 
words.... they can kill.... 

i don't have to admit that i am someone whom people claimed me to be right?

i'm feeling very detach from the church. 
even though i have been serving, have been attending services, i don't feel belonged. 
nowadays, i feel like i'm a spectator more than a member in church. 
i'm losing touch! with my church friends, and maybe wih God. 
this means something right?
and i really duno who to turn to.
oh man. what a way to start the year.
 
what have i done or accomplished in 2007? i forgot.

to me, the most significant event is staying in hall.
i expected nothing except a new experience from hall. 
but i gained more than that, i gained a family.
here, i found things which nowhere else can provide. 
and it's weird. cos i don't even know what are 'those things'. :) 
ha. babbling rubbish again.

this year, my birthday happen to fall during my exams and yeah, i finally got to experience how does it feel like to have birthdays on exams. HA. *roll eyes* Nevertheless, though i couldn't go out or do anything, i still had an awesome birthday. a simple but heart-warming one...

jie did something which i'm about to do as well. typing all the birthday wishes i received on the blog. keeping them in the phone is rather you know.. ahahah... here it goes:

29.11.2007 8.42pm 
Mummy
Hope i am d first 2 wish u happy birthday! Cumg hm 2 collect ang pao 2mrw?

P.S. she was early and i din go home that day. :(

29.11.2007 10.03om
Yong Fu
Hey.. Tomorrow is your birthday right? Oh my goodness it's like just before mine... And it's in two hours! Happy birthday in advance!

29.11.2007 11.56pm
Van
Leen!! Happy 19th birthday to you and me! :) Haha tho our bday's gonna suck big time for e next few years, i hope it doesn't get you down man. Zzz. I hateit too! Not being able to celeb w you guys again. Zzz! Good luck for yr exams man! :)
 
29.11.2007 11.57pm
Ah Bee (Sis in RH)
Happy Birthday, leen!! 19th years old already lo... Old liao... Haha... Hopefully you won't be so childish anymore. Haha.. n dun be so pork! May all your wishes come true!! Good luck in your exam and crapping skill. Hehe... Once again... Happy Birthday, bro!!

29.11.2007 11.58pm 
Wai Leong
Yopz Yopz. I've been waiting so long just to say this... 364 days to be exact... I love ... to wish you a happy happy birthday! :) 19 lo! Not the best  of time now to celebrate but rest assure the celebrations will come :) enjoy yourself studying :) jia you! if A's don't come your way, lemme know, i'll give them a good talking to. 

30.11.2007 12.00am
Johnson
Yoyo happy 19th birthday and wishing you can afford to get more sleep and all the best for ur papers :) jia you

30.11.2007 12.00am
Chun Yan
Happy 19th birthday! Haha. One year older. One year wiser. One more wrinkle. 2more years to R21 movie. Hehe. Make many wishes and May wishes come true :) find some time to celebrate together. :)

30.11.2007 12.00am
Joseph (E98)
Hey Eileen. Happy birthday!  good luck for your paper today too!

30.11.2007 12.03am
Wei zheng
Hey. happy 19th birthday! Haha! (gosh dat sounded so long ago =)

30.11.2007 12.03am
Cheryl
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY EILEEN!!! all e best for ur exams tmr. may e peace and wisdom of God be wif u. ur love for God to shine in ur singing & dancing encourages me to shine in sch & not to give up. so u can't give up too! -hugs- :) 

30.11.2007 12.06am
Jocelin
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR COUSIN!! stay blessed and funky and pretty always! You've been an inspiration to me in your attitude to life and work. You'll go far :) Jiayou for exams oh!!! *HUGS*

30.11.2007 12.15am
small JJ
Happy birthday o. and good luck for 2molo test. 

30.11.2007 12.39am
Desmond Tan
Eileen Tan! Happy Birthday to you! Really glad to know u n have u as my frenz. Hope everything goes well for u from this day onwards n God BLESS! Oh yah! alsohope our frenzship will get better n better! jiayou for your paper!

30.11.2007 1.19am 
Gerald
Happy birthday. Hope u have a good one! Just do ur best for tom paper ok? Trust God with everything else... I'm here if u need to talk. ^_^

30.11.2007 1.37am
Yee Teng
hello auntie. happy birthday!! gd luck for your exams later and do meet up during hols. :)

30.11.2007 2.13am
ken
Hey where u? happy birthday! ;)

30.11.2007 2.34am
Jocelyn
welcome to e old ladies' club!! muahahahah~

30.11.2007 5.43am 
 Ah pek
依琳 生日快乐 HAPPY BIRTHDAY

30.11.2007 7.44am
Faith
Hi Eileen, Happy Birthday to u! God bless! :)

30.11.2007 8.30am
Hee Kwan
Happy birthday to u n all e best for today's exam! God bless.. - Hee Kwan. :)

30.11.2007 9.35am
Sophia
Eileen, HAPPY BRTHDAY! :) may God continue to bless you in the coming year. God bless! :)


30.11.2007 9.43am
Stephanie
Yo! Birthday aunty! No point denyin already la. Another year OLDer AGAN. Lol. Take care n good luck for urremaining paper! Meet up soon! Damn log no see you.

30.11.2007 10.02am
Edmund
Hey hey! Happy happy birthday! Wish u all e best in everything u do and stay happy always! :) meet up some day k? Haha.

30.11.2007 11.45am
Su Ting
Hey gal... Today is ur brthday rite? Happy19th birthday! Hope u will enjoy ursef although its exam period.. Lol... Take care...

30.11.2007 12.17pm
Zuo Han
Happy Happy Birthday fatty! it's gonna be a fruitful year ahea so stay cheery n slim despite loads of cake and have a woolala enjoyable day! =D

30.11.2007 2.09pm
Pierson 
Happy Bithday!!! :)

30.11.2007 2.23pm
Joyce Seek
HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!! Haha... :)

30.11.2007 2.26pm
Enli
Happy bday to you girl! :) study hardk? Pls take care of urself. And don't ever give up what God has called u to. Fighting!

30.11.2007 2.28pm
Alvin Marcus
Hey Eileen! Happy birthday! Wishing  you another year of laughter, joy and fun, surprises, love and happiness. And when your birthday's done, i hope you feel deep in your heart, how very much you mean to me. more than you can know! God bless and have a great and exciting year ahead!

30.11.2007 11.47pm
Joseph Tay
Hey! I won't forget ur bd like how u forget mine. I didnt never wish u... I jus wanna e te last to wish u a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Study hard and be happy! Hah.

01.12.2007 12.3am
Wei Jie
Hey hey! Happy bdae! Paiseh la 38mins late only.

Of course! not forgetting those we especially came down to celebrate my bday for me: euzanne, andy, gua, joseph, desmond and cheryl. and my block people!! and yuko and sam! and those who wished my in friendster or in any other ways!

i really had a simple and blissful birthday! :)

HERE I AM. 
sitting in the dance studio alone, hoping i can dance my heart out. 
But the moment i start playing the songs, my mind went blank, i couldn't dance.
since talento, i had a fear for dancing. yeah. that's right. 
i screwed the whole dance. 
forgot almost all my steps. 
i was totally disappointed with myself. 
from then, my mind keep surrounding the question whether i should give up on dance.
maybe afterall, i can't dance.
getting into blast could be just 'luck' 
i don't know. 
feeling so emo. 
sitting alone in the dance studio, typing all these thoughts about dance. 
let go?
hold on?
-dance-

it's been a month plus since i last blogged and 2 weeks since concert ended, and i conclude that time really flies! 

concert, something that i'll be proud of for my entire life. i've never imagined myself to be standing on stage, with all eyes staring at me, listening to me as i sing, watching me as i dance, being proud of me as i act. i can't imagine myself not  joining concert, i thank God i din quit. singing, dancing, acting, these are just part of me, part of my life, these are the things i really enjoy doing. so friends, please don't ever stop me from doing them! 

i'm really happy being in raffles hall, despite of the lok kok environment and the bugs everywhere, i still love being here. in hall, i found appreciation, i found love. i don't mean i don't experience love and appreciation elsewhere, but here, it is just different. unlike church, which has a large pool of talented people, raffles has really limited resources, and though i'm not super pro, i feel like an asset here, like some treasure. it really feels good to be appreciated. and i thank God for my neighbours and seniors upstairs, everyone is just so sweet and thoughtful. long stories. :)  they made me feel loved. and mind you, they are all non-christians!

i have to admit, before joining concert, i was already spiritually unstable. and i understand it when people keep telling me to think twice before joining it, yet, i decided to go for it. to tell you the truth, i knew how much i had to withdraw from church, from ministry, from cell group because of it, and still, i did it. Intentionally. i needed a break, and this could be an excuse to escape, to rest from working so hard in church. it's not easy to do things without God's strength, i felt really drained. i even wondered, will i come back after concert or will i just disappear. but i remembered how i said i will never leave church no matter what, how my life changed because of God. and yes, i won't leave church no matter what. so when i came back into choir, into dialect, into bv, i really felt very welcomed. not like i've backslided but i was really touched.. of course, on this road, i got detached from many of my friends, people like des, joyce, mich, and the buggers. but like i always say, people come and go. we just have to wait and see who are the ones who will stay for long. i'm sorry for not putting any effort into making our friendships better. i'm not gonna find any excuse for myself.

and yep, i'm still as busy as before. 
to sing, to dance, to glorify. 

God, i need a miracle!