the comments and the words that we speak forth from our mouth have an extraordinary impact on others. 
whether it is just a simple comment like 'you look good today!' or 'this top make you look fat, shouldn't wear this' can make or destroy one's day. indeed, there is power in our tongue, we ought to observe what we say about others. 
of course, there are times when we ourselves do not know what should be said and what should be kept within us, and that's when sensitivity comes in. 
some people are really open to comments, some are ignorant and the rest super sensitive. so before we make a comment, we gotta think twice. you'll never know! just with the words you said, you can kill a relationship. is it worthwhile? 
comments are suppose to be constructive and not destructive. got a comment? attempt to make it sound nicer even when it's about something negative. be sensitive. 
i'm unsure whether i have the authority to make such comments, but i realized how important this is. 
and i hope that i will learn, learn to make comments useful and be tactful when giving comments. 
words.... they can kill.... 

i don't have to admit that i am someone whom people claimed me to be right?

i'm feeling very detach from the church. 
even though i have been serving, have been attending services, i don't feel belonged. 
nowadays, i feel like i'm a spectator more than a member in church. 
i'm losing touch! with my church friends, and maybe wih God. 
this means something right?
and i really duno who to turn to.
oh man. what a way to start the year.
 
what have i done or accomplished in 2007? i forgot.

to me, the most significant event is staying in hall.
i expected nothing except a new experience from hall. 
but i gained more than that, i gained a family.
here, i found things which nowhere else can provide. 
and it's weird. cos i don't even know what are 'those things'. :) 
ha. babbling rubbish again.

this year, my birthday happen to fall during my exams and yeah, i finally got to experience how does it feel like to have birthdays on exams. HA. *roll eyes* Nevertheless, though i couldn't go out or do anything, i still had an awesome birthday. a simple but heart-warming one...

jie did something which i'm about to do as well. typing all the birthday wishes i received on the blog. keeping them in the phone is rather you know.. ahahah... here it goes:

29.11.2007 8.42pm 
Mummy
Hope i am d first 2 wish u happy birthday! Cumg hm 2 collect ang pao 2mrw?

P.S. she was early and i din go home that day. :(

29.11.2007 10.03om
Yong Fu
Hey.. Tomorrow is your birthday right? Oh my goodness it's like just before mine... And it's in two hours! Happy birthday in advance!

29.11.2007 11.56pm
Van
Leen!! Happy 19th birthday to you and me! :) Haha tho our bday's gonna suck big time for e next few years, i hope it doesn't get you down man. Zzz. I hateit too! Not being able to celeb w you guys again. Zzz! Good luck for yr exams man! :)
 
29.11.2007 11.57pm
Ah Bee (Sis in RH)
Happy Birthday, leen!! 19th years old already lo... Old liao... Haha... Hopefully you won't be so childish anymore. Haha.. n dun be so pork! May all your wishes come true!! Good luck in your exam and crapping skill. Hehe... Once again... Happy Birthday, bro!!

29.11.2007 11.58pm 
Wai Leong
Yopz Yopz. I've been waiting so long just to say this... 364 days to be exact... I love ... to wish you a happy happy birthday! :) 19 lo! Not the best  of time now to celebrate but rest assure the celebrations will come :) enjoy yourself studying :) jia you! if A's don't come your way, lemme know, i'll give them a good talking to. 

30.11.2007 12.00am
Johnson
Yoyo happy 19th birthday and wishing you can afford to get more sleep and all the best for ur papers :) jia you

30.11.2007 12.00am
Chun Yan
Happy 19th birthday! Haha. One year older. One year wiser. One more wrinkle. 2more years to R21 movie. Hehe. Make many wishes and May wishes come true :) find some time to celebrate together. :)

30.11.2007 12.00am
Joseph (E98)
Hey Eileen. Happy birthday!  good luck for your paper today too!

30.11.2007 12.03am
Wei zheng
Hey. happy 19th birthday! Haha! (gosh dat sounded so long ago =)

30.11.2007 12.03am
Cheryl
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY EILEEN!!! all e best for ur exams tmr. may e peace and wisdom of God be wif u. ur love for God to shine in ur singing & dancing encourages me to shine in sch & not to give up. so u can't give up too! -hugs- :) 

30.11.2007 12.06am
Jocelin
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR COUSIN!! stay blessed and funky and pretty always! You've been an inspiration to me in your attitude to life and work. You'll go far :) Jiayou for exams oh!!! *HUGS*

30.11.2007 12.15am
small JJ
Happy birthday o. and good luck for 2molo test. 

30.11.2007 12.39am
Desmond Tan
Eileen Tan! Happy Birthday to you! Really glad to know u n have u as my frenz. Hope everything goes well for u from this day onwards n God BLESS! Oh yah! alsohope our frenzship will get better n better! jiayou for your paper!

30.11.2007 1.19am 
Gerald
Happy birthday. Hope u have a good one! Just do ur best for tom paper ok? Trust God with everything else... I'm here if u need to talk. ^_^

30.11.2007 1.37am
Yee Teng
hello auntie. happy birthday!! gd luck for your exams later and do meet up during hols. :)

30.11.2007 2.13am
ken
Hey where u? happy birthday! ;)

30.11.2007 2.34am
Jocelyn
welcome to e old ladies' club!! muahahahah~

30.11.2007 5.43am 
 Ah pek
依琳 生日快乐 HAPPY BIRTHDAY

30.11.2007 7.44am
Faith
Hi Eileen, Happy Birthday to u! God bless! :)

30.11.2007 8.30am
Hee Kwan
Happy birthday to u n all e best for today's exam! God bless.. - Hee Kwan. :)

30.11.2007 9.35am
Sophia
Eileen, HAPPY BRTHDAY! :) may God continue to bless you in the coming year. God bless! :)


30.11.2007 9.43am
Stephanie
Yo! Birthday aunty! No point denyin already la. Another year OLDer AGAN. Lol. Take care n good luck for urremaining paper! Meet up soon! Damn log no see you.

30.11.2007 10.02am
Edmund
Hey hey! Happy happy birthday! Wish u all e best in everything u do and stay happy always! :) meet up some day k? Haha.

30.11.2007 11.45am
Su Ting
Hey gal... Today is ur brthday rite? Happy19th birthday! Hope u will enjoy ursef although its exam period.. Lol... Take care...

30.11.2007 12.17pm
Zuo Han
Happy Happy Birthday fatty! it's gonna be a fruitful year ahea so stay cheery n slim despite loads of cake and have a woolala enjoyable day! =D

30.11.2007 2.09pm
Pierson 
Happy Bithday!!! :)

30.11.2007 2.23pm
Joyce Seek
HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!! Haha... :)

30.11.2007 2.26pm
Enli
Happy bday to you girl! :) study hardk? Pls take care of urself. And don't ever give up what God has called u to. Fighting!

30.11.2007 2.28pm
Alvin Marcus
Hey Eileen! Happy birthday! Wishing  you another year of laughter, joy and fun, surprises, love and happiness. And when your birthday's done, i hope you feel deep in your heart, how very much you mean to me. more than you can know! God bless and have a great and exciting year ahead!

30.11.2007 11.47pm
Joseph Tay
Hey! I won't forget ur bd like how u forget mine. I didnt never wish u... I jus wanna e te last to wish u a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Study hard and be happy! Hah.

01.12.2007 12.3am
Wei Jie
Hey hey! Happy bdae! Paiseh la 38mins late only.

Of course! not forgetting those we especially came down to celebrate my bday for me: euzanne, andy, gua, joseph, desmond and cheryl. and my block people!! and yuko and sam! and those who wished my in friendster or in any other ways!

i really had a simple and blissful birthday! :)

HERE I AM. 
sitting in the dance studio alone, hoping i can dance my heart out. 
But the moment i start playing the songs, my mind went blank, i couldn't dance.
since talento, i had a fear for dancing. yeah. that's right. 
i screwed the whole dance. 
forgot almost all my steps. 
i was totally disappointed with myself. 
from then, my mind keep surrounding the question whether i should give up on dance.
maybe afterall, i can't dance.
getting into blast could be just 'luck' 
i don't know. 
feeling so emo. 
sitting alone in the dance studio, typing all these thoughts about dance. 
let go?
hold on?
-dance-

it's been a month plus since i last blogged and 2 weeks since concert ended, and i conclude that time really flies! 

concert, something that i'll be proud of for my entire life. i've never imagined myself to be standing on stage, with all eyes staring at me, listening to me as i sing, watching me as i dance, being proud of me as i act. i can't imagine myself not  joining concert, i thank God i din quit. singing, dancing, acting, these are just part of me, part of my life, these are the things i really enjoy doing. so friends, please don't ever stop me from doing them! 

i'm really happy being in raffles hall, despite of the lok kok environment and the bugs everywhere, i still love being here. in hall, i found appreciation, i found love. i don't mean i don't experience love and appreciation elsewhere, but here, it is just different. unlike church, which has a large pool of talented people, raffles has really limited resources, and though i'm not super pro, i feel like an asset here, like some treasure. it really feels good to be appreciated. and i thank God for my neighbours and seniors upstairs, everyone is just so sweet and thoughtful. long stories. :)  they made me feel loved. and mind you, they are all non-christians!

i have to admit, before joining concert, i was already spiritually unstable. and i understand it when people keep telling me to think twice before joining it, yet, i decided to go for it. to tell you the truth, i knew how much i had to withdraw from church, from ministry, from cell group because of it, and still, i did it. Intentionally. i needed a break, and this could be an excuse to escape, to rest from working so hard in church. it's not easy to do things without God's strength, i felt really drained. i even wondered, will i come back after concert or will i just disappear. but i remembered how i said i will never leave church no matter what, how my life changed because of God. and yes, i won't leave church no matter what. so when i came back into choir, into dialect, into bv, i really felt very welcomed. not like i've backslided but i was really touched.. of course, on this road, i got detached from many of my friends, people like des, joyce, mich, and the buggers. but like i always say, people come and go. we just have to wait and see who are the ones who will stay for long. i'm sorry for not putting any effort into making our friendships better. i'm not gonna find any excuse for myself.

and yep, i'm still as busy as before. 
to sing, to dance, to glorify. 

God, i need a miracle!
 

academically (modules, lectures, tutorial) wise, nothing much happened. as in, it's just like that. though one part i loathe the most is the one when i find it hard to get company for lecture. haha. but thank God every lecture i'll be able to find someone i know. muhaha. 

HALL
i admit i skipped most of the mundane and uninteresting games for hall orientation esp after sports camp. anything is just not good enough, so i din bother to commit. But after much thoughts, i think it is the easiest to shine here in hall. I din attend oweek. meaning i won't get to know many people from my faculty.. and i'm not the super on kind. so i need to search for opportunities to shine and sow in people's lives. and tadahh.... CONCERT. it is an annual event organised by hall. a musical which is ticketed and according to the seniors, cannot miss... it sounded exciting and fun. so i decided to try. whether or not i'm in cast costume sets stage manager music or whatsoever, i just don't wanna miss this chance. but if you know me, i'm the more cast kinda person lah. i went for the audition which required us to sing dance and script say. Thank God. i think i did pretty well. and will definately get a part in the play. but in any case it's just gonna be so good. of course, this comes with great committment. mon to fri 8pm-12mn. i seriously can't imagine cell group how? choir prac how? i know my priorities, i'm just no sure whether i can do it. 

hey whoever reading this, it has been tiring for me. though things are going well, i'm not going as well. i really question myself. upon trying so hard, will i make it or break it? whether in school or in church or in family. i really dunno. i gotta admit i haven been doing well.. and this definately contribute to the weariness i'd shown. there's so many so many things i needa do. i am suppose to do extraordinary things... but it's really so hard when it's without God. nobody can help me i know. i need to pick myself up and i really wonder.....

will i really make it?  

already staying in hall if u do not know. it has been good since i'm not the easily homesick kind.
my parents really put in a lot of effort, knowing that the exterior of the hall is terrible, they came without me to clean and make my room a more comfy one. i was touched, yet as usual, i din know how to appreciate. can someone just whack me and wake me up?

actually a lot of things happened. i dunno where to start and how to start so am not gonna blog about them..

something struck me today.. was in this bedok shop trying to find whether there are cheapo things to get and saw this ah pek. he can hardly walk for long i guess, but he was holding on to this kids' cooking toys. was wondering, will kids these days appreciate that?? i mean they can have much better and fun toys and what is that worth to the child? i was touched. was wondering, is the ah pek poor or rich? is this 4 bucks a lot or little to him? i was really amazed by how these old people love their grandchildren and can imagine how irritating the kis can be when they dislike what they receive... hai... nvm... i'm like tat too. time to change again!!

NUS so far so good. enjoying the people and atmosphere. despite knowing that it will be tiring and difficult to have top juggle so many things at the same time, i'm trusting God for a great end of my education life. haha. all the best Eileen! i wanna be used by God mightily in this school!!! it's not gonna be like JC! it's gonna be AWESOME!!

went for the 2 days 1 night camp organised by the NUS ministry. i am impressed. though the activities weren't as fun as that in sports camp, it was still awesome. the attitude the OGLs and O comm people shown and the energy they had really impressed me. these people i'm talking about are ministry leaders, PCGL, CGL, some from SOT. COME ON. they are not like people who have nth to do! but they took out time to do this for us. i had fun. i knew more people and i did what i'm suppose to i guess. haha. the most embarrassing part was my SP was sabotaged by evil kids like michelle. so he had to play the guitar and sing a song in front of the whole lot of campers and they made me sit in front of him. if u know me, i don't like such 'romantic' gestures. i din appreciate it but he was good. can't deny that guys who can do that are kinda attractive. haha. wadeva! we can't flow. haha. great 2 days! stretched! gonna love NUS more!!

dead. ha.

yoyo wassup! i so so so did not regret i joined this camp. i had a hell lot of fun. despite ending up with an ugly sun burnt on my face and a few blue blacks on my legs, i really had fun. A great experience, tried 1000 new things and yeah. i'm gonna bore u with all the events. they have the fun-nest camp games man. haha.

day 1: house games like squirrels tree and fire thing. their forfeit are TERRIBLE. so horny one. bth. after tat pool games! i struggled like crap. wondering how i will look like with those stupid swimming costume and sitting between hunks and babes. but it turned out fine. no one bother about your figure lah, they only bother bout the good ones. haha. played the lifeguard boat thing, played dog and bone with float, find mahjong tiles in water, collect splash water and turn and bomb la. FUN! who cares about the figure when your attention is all captured by the games? haha. 
back to hall, watched and had martial arts try-outs! pretty cool.
After dinner, SP. haha. talked to 3 guys blindfolded. and have to rank them according to comfortability. haha. i got my 1st choice as SP la. haha. secret reveal on 3rd day.
Then, later in the night, we had telematch. played burn the candle, protect the guys, fruit basket, AEIOU steamboat version, draw legs, and tissue volleyball? ahaha. details u ask me lah.

day 2: We went out for try-outs. went the cage for soccer, den to kallang for kayaking and dragon boating, den went to east coast for wind surfing, frisbees and roller skate. unfortunately my suay OG din manage to windsurf and roller skate during to the stupid rain. but fun! we played the hunter bear game.. haha. back to NUS. had some stupid talks which obviously no one was listening. haha. den had mass dance. nice mass dance. almost gotta performed but my scissors paper stone skill saved me. haha. 

day 3: SENTOSA! i hated sentosa, hated beach games, but not after this day. played girls fight while sitting on guys, dogdeball, pick out stuff from dirty container with our mouth, pass marshmellow and squeeze water. den after lunch, wu gui wu gui tiao and relay match. last is the interhouse telematch. FUN!!!!!!!! THE ENTIRE HOUSE WORKED TOgether and everyone got a part to play. great game.SOPRANO WON!! woohooo..
after tat was dinner and we had it with our secret pals. hmm. mine is like my height? ok looking. haha. nice guy though. no one expect a fright night. and yeah. with our SP. i told my SP i'm not timid and i freaked out during the walk. pai sey ah! hahaha. can u imagine? :)

day 4: Sports try-outs: canoe polo, floorball, touch rugby. our group missed archery and netball once again, due to weather. arghhh...
afternoon.
AMAZING RACE!! first station: indoor rock climbing
                                           second station: snow city
                                           third station: air rifle
                                           fouth station: hot air balloon (only 2 got to go)
                                           fifth station: east coast (night cycling: geylang for youtiao, supreme court for
                                                                                      pictures, Boat Quay for some memo game, ROM for fotos, 
                                                                                      suntec kbox for yelling session, somewhere under a
                                                                                      bridge for charades (liddat spelled?) and back to east
                                                                                      coast coastal sands for a rest. a few hours later.
day 5: AMAZING RACE PART 2: first station: the smaller version of motor bike. din get to try! argghh..
                                                         second station: BANANA BOAT!!
                                                         third station: dive from 5m high. 
            back to NUS: PYJAMAS PARTY: they actually have their own small place to club there. Haha. my first 
                                                                      time clubbing. not very fun though. not the wild kind u know? lol. my 
                                                                      cute guy looked SUPER cute in his yellow spag sleeping dress and
                                                                      orange wings. one of the MOMO. HOT AND CUTE. drink a bit,
                                                                      danced a bit, played a bit. and slp. hahaha. 
day 6: BREAK CAMP DAY! haha. din realised i succeed!! i survived. i thought i was gonna die half way through the camp but i din. so yeah. good job to myself! haha. FUN FUN FUN! u want me to bore u with details. let me know hahaha.